he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
