He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize