I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
