pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
