Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
