Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize