Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
We're not piercing ourselves today.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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