u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
