worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
