I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
