If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
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