You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Randomize
