I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
