oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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