I met the friendliest cop last night
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
