My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
