What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
