I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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