Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
