Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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