so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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