Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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