That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
