No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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