so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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