Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
