i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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