yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
