She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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