glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
