Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
