Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
