Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
