Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
