I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think weed is turning my hair brown
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
