Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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