I must be too annoying 4 u.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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