I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
