You work out of a Hotel?
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
