Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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