She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
