As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
