The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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