So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
