i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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