Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You were trust falling into bushes
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
