I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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