Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
