If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
