Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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