Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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