I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
