our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Houston, we have a blender
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
