So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
