i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
