If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
