some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
