So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
