Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
