i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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